Leaving Family Heirlooms in a Will

Money can be divided precisely; a single treasured object cannot. Disputes over heirlooms are rarely really about the monetary value of the item, and much more often about what it represents, who was closest to the person who died, or old family dynamics resurfacing at an emotional time. A will that is silent, or that leaves 'personal possessions to be divided as my executors think fit', leaves the door wide open for disagreement.

The single most effective thing you can do to prevent this is to be specific while you are alive, both in your will or memorandum of wishes, and ideally in conversation with the people concerned, so that nobody is faced with an unexpected decision, or an unexpected omission, for the first time after you have died.

For particularly significant items, name them directly in the will as specific legacies, describing them clearly enough that there is no room for argument about which item is meant, for example 'my grandfather's mantel clock, currently in the sitting room' rather than 'the clock'. This is worth doing in the will itself, rather than only in a memorandum of wishes, for items you consider especially important or likely to be contested.

For a larger number of smaller or less individually significant items, a memorandum of wishes referred to in the will is usually more practical, since it can be updated easily as your possessions and your wishes change, without the cost of amending the will each time.

A memorandum of wishes is a separate, signed and dated document that lists specific chattels and who you would like to receive them, referred to but not fully repeated within the will itself. It is not legally binding on your executors in the way the will is, but in practice it is almost always followed, and it gives you flexibility to update your wishes without formal will changes.

Because it is not binding, a memorandum should never be used for anything you consider essential to control precisely, such as high value items with significant inheritance tax implications, or gifts where you want absolute certainty. For those, put the gift in the will itself.

It is common for more than one family member to feel entitled to the same heirloom, whether a wedding ring, a piece of furniture that 'was always going to be mine', or a family photograph album. The only reliable way to prevent this becoming a dispute after your death is to decide, while you are alive, and record that decision clearly, ideally explaining your reasoning to the people affected.

Where you genuinely cannot decide, or want to leave the decision to the family, some people leave instructions for a fair method of allocation, such as a rotation, a draw, or valuation and equalisation through the residue, though these approaches work far better when discussed and agreed with family in advance rather than sprung on them for the first time after a death.

If you give away, sell or lose a heirloom named in your will before you die, the specific gift will usually fail, known as ademption, and the intended recipient receives nothing under that clause even though you clearly once intended them to benefit. This is a particular risk with heirlooms, which people sometimes give away informally during their lifetime without updating the will to match.

Review your will, or your memorandum of wishes, whenever a significant heirloom changes hands, is sold, or is lost or damaged, so that your documents continue to reflect what you actually own and intend. A memorandum of wishes makes this much easier to keep current than repeatedly amending the will itself.